Middle Childhood 6–9 Years: Walking in Another’s Shoes – Developing Deeper Emotional Awareness
Introduction – The First Steps into Another’s World
How many time have you witnessed this situation: your 7-year-old comes home from school, slams their backpack on the floor, and says, “It’s not fair! Alexandra got picked for the team, and I didn’t!” Before you can respond, they add: “But I think he’s happy because he never gets picked, so maybe it was good for him.”
This simple, yet extremely emotionally complexed, moment holds something profound. At this stage of childhood, our kids are learning to balance their own desires with the awareness of others. Between the ages of 6 and 9, empathy evolves from basic emotional resonance (“I feel sad because you’re sad”) into deeper emotional understanding (“I can imagine how you feel even if I don’t feel the same way”).
As parents, teachers, guides and any other title you desire place here, this period of their awareness development is showing us to start giving attention to perspective-taking, fairness, and compassion. Our children are not just reacting anymore — they are reflecting. The following step in their emotional life. And reflection is the seed of wisdom.
Every next period in their life is a new challenge for us also. They just go through it, it is happening to them. We have the responsibility to recognize, recalibrate our selves and adopt. If we were honestly trying until this moment, everything will be much smoother. Natural. Interesting. It is not necessary at all for us to have had emotionally aware parents. All we have to do is give our best and the most sincere.
What’s Happening Inside – The Emotional Growth of 6–9 Years
From a developmental perspective, here children begin to:
Notice right from wrong – They start to compare, measure, and question. “Why does she get two and I only get one?”
Recognize multiple perspectives – Now they start holding a fact that different people may feel different things and see the same situation differently.
Develop empathy in action – Not only having a lot clearer picture of what others feel but starting to take small steps to give comfort, to provide help.
Build emotional language – They can name more complex feelings: “frustrated,” “disappointed,” “worried.”
From a spiritual perspective, children at this age are expanding their awareness outward. They are beginning to understand that their soul is connected to others — classmates, siblings, even the stranger they see crying in a store. Their awareness are stretching, making space for the others. They need time to understand this. They could use a guide in these situations. They need a constructive chat when they get a bit lost on their path.
But for sure, they don’t need a pressure to explain themselves all the time.
Give them Love, understanding, safe environment. One question that makes them dig a bit deeper based in a support.
Everyday Examples of Empathy in Action
Let’s ground this stage in real life.
1. The Playground Conflict
Your child sees a classmate crying because they lost a game. Instead of laughing at or ignoring theirs feelings, your child says, “It’s okay, next time we will be in the same team and we will win.” Here, empathy moves from feeling to doing.
2. Sibling Rivalry
Your 8-year-old notices their younger sibling looking sad because you praised their drawing. They say, “Your drawing is nice too, don’t worry.” It might sound simple, but this is empathy in practice — recognizing the feelings of others and offering comfort.
A moment that touches every parent’s heart.
3. Dinner Table Discussions
During dinner, your child says, “Today my friend didn’t have a snack, and I felt bad about it so I shared with him mine.” This shows their growing capacity to see beyond themselves, to put themselves in another’s place.
All of your efforts invested until here, now is starting to give fruits. A first spark of the well established emotional being to the outer world. Your kid understands it, and now the action is on. After these moments, you have to give them feedback. Speak about the emotion they lived. what thoughts tey were having. The importance of sharing…..The priceless heart filling deeds.
What could we achieve in this period
The ages between 6 and 9 are a golden window for shaping how empathy becomes part of your kid’s identity. We can place the empathy to be ‘‘Alert’’ all the time, all the day, in every communication, eye contact, situation and when your kid is alone in a dark room.
When nurtured:
Children learn that kindness isn’t weakness — it’s strength.
They discover that differences in feelings or perspectives don’t threaten them but enrich their understanding of life.
They gain tools to manage conflicts with friends, siblings, and eventually, the wider world.
When empathy is dismissed:
A child may learn to suppress feelings of compassion, fearing they make them “too soft” or simply, yet the worst of everything ‘‘Not Accepted for they are’’
They may struggle with self-worth, thinking their feelings or fairness questions are unimportant.
They risk growing into adults who struggle to connect deeply with others.
Practical Guidance for Parents – Everyday Practices
Here are some simple yet powerful ways to partner with your child in this stage:
Use “Perspective Questions”
Ask: “How do you think your friend felt when that happened?” This gently trains their mind to consider others’ inner worlds. It’s important to give them the pathway into the self-reflection.Normalize Fairness Conversations
If your child says, “It’s not fair!” instead of dismissing it, explore: “What would fair look like to you? And how do you think your brother sees it?”Model Empathy at Home
Children at this age imitate more than they admit. If they see you offering compassion — to them, to a partner, or even to a stranger — they absorb it as normal behavior. Flood them with this pattern, make them believe that this is all there is.Encourage Helping Acts
Invite them to help set the table, bring a toy to a younger sibling, or write a kind note for a classmate. These actions could create the muscle of empathy. ‘‘Now my all body participates’’Introduce Books and Stories
Read stories where characters face challenges. Pause and ask, “What do you think she felt? What would you do?” Stories open a safe space to practice perspective.
Everything is based in a perspective. The easiest thing is to create a kid with ‘‘It’s not my thing’’ perspective. Here we speak of the other opposite, here we discuss how the raise our children which will be able to help the World around them, which will be able to actually provide a comfort, ease suffer, maybe even take the Pain away. Fully functioning emotionally aware human being. Aware that his strength comes from his heart where truth lies and consciously willing to spread it around.
When the Connection is Missed
Of course, there will be times when children show selfishness, jealousy, or even cruelty. That’s part of learning. What matters is how we respond.
If your child excludes a friend – Instead of shaming, you might ask, “How would you feel if you were left out?”
If they laugh at another’s mistake – Reflect gently: “Imagine if that happened to you. What would you need?”
If they don’t notice others’ feelings – It’s okay. These skills take practice. Use everyday life as a classroom, because the classroom it is. Everything around us is set up for us to learn and grow.
Never forget that empathy is a life journey, not a checklist. Children will miss the mark often — and so will we. The key is to keep returning to awareness.
A Spiritual Lens – Seeing the Soul in Connection
Spiritually, ages 6 to 9 are a threshold sort of. Children begin to step into the recognition that we are all connected. Their growing empathy is not only about kindness — it is about awakening to unity. That start of realization - All is One, One is All
When your child comforts a friend, they are not just “being nice.” They are practicing the sacred truth that love expands when shared. When they wrestle with fairness, they are beginning to sense the divine balance of justice.
As parents, we hold space for this awakening. We are not only teaching social skills — we are guiding souls to remember who they are: beings of connection, compassion, and awareness.
Encouragement for Parents
Parenting children in this stage can be intense, in a different way than before or after. They ask more questions, challenge rules, and sometimes seem more concerned about fairness than you can handle. But this intensity is a gift. It means their awareness is growing. it gives an open window to parents to get to know their child even better. Connect deeper, bring brain waves on a closer resonance.
If you feel overwhelmed, remember: you don’t need perfect answers. You only need presence. Sit with their questions. Reflect their feelings. Show them that even when life isn’t fair, love is constant. It’s all about learning from situations, for all of us. in these moments you will always find energy to give them, as long as you don’t think of ‘‘what has happened’’ and ‘‘how much work I have later’’
Closing Reflection – Walking in Another’s Shoes
Between the ages of 6 and 9, children step into the sacred practice of seeing the world through another’s eyes. These years are more than about learning math or reading — they are about learning how to be human in a connected world. They connect their soul with their environment.
Each time you pause to listen, guide, or comfort, you are not just raising a child. You are shaping a soul who will one day walk through life with empathy and awareness.
So next time your child exclaims, “That’s not fair!” or tells you about a friend’s sadness, take a breath. See it not as a problem, but as an opportunity. An opportunity to guide them into one of life’s greatest gifts: the ability to walk in another’s shoes, with compassion in their heart.
